Write Like You Talk
Shitty advice Mike Shitty advice Mike

Write Like You Talk

Look, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it. Your writing is the textual equivalent of having a stick up your ass. It looks and sounds uncomfortable, and the rest of us want you to stop.

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Waiting on “If”
Shitty advice Mike Shitty advice Mike

Waiting on “If”

If only deals in hypotheticals. If works on an unconscionable contract. If is a malicious negotiator. If is a snake-oil salesman masquerading as the prophet who will make all your problems disappear. If takes control out of your hands and gives it to an indifferent and uncaring universe. It may seem like a small, innocuous word, but it’s secretly fucking up your entire universe.

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Why You Suck at Writing
Shitty advice Mike Shitty advice Mike

Why You Suck at Writing

You can’t please everyone all the time. Sometimes your writing will be unquestionably, undeniably shitty. Other times, its shittiness comes down to preference and perspective. Either way, your writing will always be shitty to someone. And that’s okay.

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Everything Is Writing
Shitty advice Mike Shitty advice Mike

Everything Is Writing

Writing involves a maddening amount of thinking, planning, and non-writing both before and after you vomit some words out onto the proverbial page. Just because you’re not physically writing, it doesn’t mean you’re not still writing.

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Writer’s Block Isn’t a Thing
Shitty advice Mike Shitty advice Mike

Writer’s Block Isn’t a Thing

Writer’s block is just the catch-all term to describe moments when we feel stuck, uninspired, or distracted. It's the scapegoat for our own inadequacies and insecurities because it’s always easier to blame something beyond our control than it is to fess up and admit that we suck. Stop making excuses and start identifying the real problem.

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The Fear of Finishing
Shitty advice Mike Shitty advice Mike

The Fear of Finishing

I'm always terrified that people won’t like what I write. Either they won’t “get it” or they’ll compare it to something they just read from by another writer and think it’s shit. The Fear of Finishing is something all writers struggle with but it doesn’t have to be that way.

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