Less vs. Fewer

Let’s be honest. We live in a world where more is better. We’re a gluttonous species that can never have enough shit. We need money, more possessions, more followers, more likes, and more carbs. You name it, we want it—and we want it all. So, it’s not surprising that we’ve forgotten how to even talk about the concept of not having as much as possible.

It’s time to join the minimalist army, my materialistic friends. Unburden thyself of the desire to acquire. Together, we can strive to have fewer shit. Less shit? Wait, is it less or fewer?

Definitions

Less and fewer have similar meanings but they’re not interchangeable. Less is used when you’re referring to a smaller amount of something. Fewer is used when you’re referring to a smaller number of something.

Countable vs. uncountable nouns

The easiest way to know if less is the correct word choice or if fewer is the correct word choice is to identify if you’re talking about a countable noun or an uncountable noun.

Countable nouns are (spoiler alert) things that you can count or measure in specific quantities. Things like people (ugh, the worst), places, and objects are countable nouns and will use fewer when you’re referring to their quantities.

Examples:

The secret to happiness is having fewer friends and more pets.

Fewer cities smell like hot garbage in the winter.

If I had fewer drinks every night, I’d probably be a functional adult.

Uncountable nouns are more abstract things that typically can’t be measured in specific quantities. Things like emotions, ideas, and concepts are almost always uncountable nouns and will use less when you’re measuring them.

Examples:

Have you tried being less sad when you’re feeling sad?

I wish I could say I’ve been less lazy than this, but then I’d be lazy and a liar.

I’m less likely to talk to you. That’s all. No qualifiers. I just don’t like people.

Single vs. plural nouns

Another good indicator of when to use less or fewer is whether the noun you’re referring to is a single noun or a plural noun. 

Uncountable nouns will always be singular, and therefore use less when being measured.

Examples:

The world would seem less miserable if everyone just calmed the fuck down.

I didn’t think it was possible for humans to get less intelligent, but here you are to prove me wrong.

Countable nouns can be both singular and plural but will use fewer in either form.

Examples:

There was one fewer gypsy in the camp today.

Have you tried giving fewer fucks about what people think?

Exceptions to the rules

If you’re surprised that a “rule” in the English language can be broken without a logical reason, you’re in for a long fucking ride. Sometimes, even when you’re using a countable noun, you’ll say “fewer” instead of “less.” This is common with things like time, distance, money, and weight.

Examples: 

The gypsy camp is less than five miles from here.

I weighed less than 200 pounds before I ate that second burrito.

After he broke both my legs, I owed the loan shark less than $50,000. But now I owe the hospital $25,000.

I think that should do it. Hopefully, you have fewer questions and less confusion about when to use less vs. fewer in your writing.